Hajar's Knapsack

I'm preparing my mind to leave the faculty for quite a long time. I think its a good break but at the same time its going to be a very tough time for me. Everyday I told myself "I will have to go very soon anyway... I must be prepared to leave"... The problem now, should I go "very, very far" or not? Deep inside my heart, I want to. Maybe I should. Maybe I should just pack and leave just like I did before. Next year? Please Allah, help me decide...